Why Counseling?
For those viewing pornography, therapy is an important component of recovery. Individuals frequently view pornography in part as a coping mechanism for other problems in life. By finding a qualified therapist that works well with your personality, individuals can better assess core issues and triggers that drive them to view pornography. Once these issues and triggers are identified, therapists can then help support individuals as they work to replace these addictive habits with healthy behaviors.
For others closely associated with those viewing pornography, such as spouses, parents and those in serious dating relationships, therapy can also be helpful. Many spouses and those in serious dating relationships express feelings of betrayal and other intense emotions upon learning of their partners’ behaviors. Parents frequently express frustration and an inability to effectively handle this issue. Therapy can provide a safe place to sort through the emotions experienced and provide a professional perspective in making important decisions. For spouses and those seriously dating, attending therapy sessions with the person viewing pornography can also be effective.
Finding a qualified counselor
Finding a qualified counselor for pornography and sexual addiction is critical to the recovery process. Genuine commitment to on-going counseling from a qualified therapist is typically required for a minimum of 12 to 18 months for those who are addicted. It is also important for those closely impacted by the addiction of another to find qualified counseling. Since all individuals have unique personalities, however, even a qualified therapist may not be a good fit for you. It is important to find a therapist that works well with your personality.
The following questions may be helpful in finding a qualified therapist. If after seeing a therapist for 3-6 weeks you are finding therapy sessions unhelpful, you may consider looking for another therapist that works better with your personality.
When evaluating a therapist, some important considerations are:
- What training has the therapist received in dealing with sexual behaviors and addictions?
- A. Therapists dealing with sexual addiction often need extensive training and education. You may want to ask the therapist if he or she is a member of a national organization for sexual addiction and if he or she has received any specific certification or training.
- Does the therapist specialize in sexual addiction and how many years of experience do they have treating these problems?
- A. Good therapists specializing in other psychological problems may not be the best for treating sexual behavior.
- Are counseling services provided to the non-addicted spouse?
- A. Involvement of the non-addicted spouse in therapy is often important for their well being and also that of the marriage.
- Does the therapist or clinic provide group therapy?
- A. Experience has shown that recovery is enhanced when the individuals and couples participate in group therapy.
- What does the therapist believe the effects of viewing pornography are?
Therapists often have varying opinions regarding whether pornography and engaging in related activities is problematic behavior. Ensure the therapist you are seeing shares your beliefs and value system.
- Does the therapist believe that pornography use can be classified as an addiction?
If a therapist does not believe pornography is addictive, then their method of treating the behavior is likely to be substantially different. LDS Church leaders have stated that it is an addiction. Additionally, current research demonstrates that the changes in the brain caused by pornography viewing are very similar to the changes in the brain caused by addictive drugs and alcohol.
- What steps are considered necessary to recover?
Some therapists do not believe recovery is possible, or do not exhibit a strong understanding of what recovery requires.
- How does the therapist define “sobriety” and measure success in treating those who view pornography?
Discovering how a therapist defines sobriety and measures success can also help you gauge the effectiveness of treatment. Sobriety is not having sex with self or others, other than your spouse. Recovery involves being totally honest and coming out of hiding, a life style change to create a pornography free life, working with a qualified counselor, working with your bishop, participating in a 12-step recovery program. It takes 12 – 18 months to gain solid recovery.