- When sex is separated from love and care, it can become addictive.
- When sex is used for the wrong reasons a spiritual problem is created – we feel a void within us and in our relationships. The underlying hunger remains unsatisfied. We start wondering what went wrong or we get irritated or depressed. While the misuse of sex may result in a short term high, it ultimately creates distance between one’s self and another person, or, in the case of compulsive masturbation, distance within one’s self. Using sex for the wrong reason, as a substitute for what we really need, also leaves us feeling increasingly frustrated, angry and hopeless. Women, Sex and Addiction: a Search for Love and Power; Charlotte Davis Kasl, PhD. 1990. Perennial Library Harper& Row, New York. p. 4
- In the long run, sex will not shore up a shaky ego. Sex will not fill the emptiness left from childhood wounds or abandonment. Sex will not save a failing marriage. Being able to seduce attractive partners does not make you more confident, attractive, smart, virile or sexy. It just means that you have become good at seduction.
- Because our sexuality is a gift from God, when sex is used for the wrong reasons a spiritual conflict is created. We feel a void within us and in our relationships. An underlying hunger remains unsatisfied. We start wondering what went wrong or we get irritated or depressed.
- While the misuse of sex may result in a short term high, it eventually results in feelings of emptiness, sexual hunger and deep loneliness. It ultimately creates distance between one’s self and another person, or, in the case of compulsive masturbation, distance within ones self.
- There are studies which show actual brain function changes in someone who is addicted – and the changes are the same whether for addiction to alcohol, drugs, or pornography. When sex is separated from love and care, it can become addictive. Add link to Hilton article
- Addictive behavior is engaged in so that we can feel pleasure and to escape feelings of low self esteem, anxiety, boredom and frustration. When the rush of pleasure disappears, the feelings we are trying to escape from reappear, often stronger than ever, which compels us to repeat the cycle. Over time, our brain chemistry is altered and a full fledged addiction occurs. Add link to Dr. Hilton’s article
- All people have a basic need and hunger for human intimacy or emotional connection with others. When we try to fill that need by viewing pornography, we end up creating a bond with an artificial, fake world and lose the ability to bond with actual people.
- Healthy relationships, work, play, parenting, creativity, and peace of mind slip away as the person slowly builds a wall around himself and then becomes increasingly difficult to reach with either love or reason. Eventually the addicted person sees other people out there, but does not see other souls.
- Pornography wouldn’t be in your life if it didn’t do something for you. But you need to realize you are filling your physical, social or emotional need with something that is poisoning you. This toxic substance is changing you into an ungodly person – a person devoid of human compassion and love.
- When we mistakenly use sex as a substitute for nurture, love, power or anger, sex is no longer a wonderful source of connection between our deepest selves and a beloved partner. It becomes a commodity used to avoid intimacy and mask needs that should be addressed directly. Women, Sex and Addiction: a Search for Love and Power; Charlotte Davis Kasl, PhD. 1990. Perennial Library Harper& Row, New York. p. 4
