Those of us who are living with or have lived with someone addicted to pornography use know the feelings of betrayal, confusion, and helplessness that have permeated our lives.

The feelings experienced are very similar to grieving the death of a loved one and may include the following symptoms:

(1) Shock
(2) Denial
(3) Bargaining
(4) Anger
(5) Depression and, finally
(6) Acceptance.

Acknowledging, accepting, and allowing those feelings to take their course are important steps.

Many of us have worried that we could never be able to trust our husbands again. We have seen dramatic changes in our husband’s personality, the way he treats us and others, and emotional distance. Feelings of deep loneliness and responsibility for the addiction are almost universal. We have frequently felt pressure from our husbands to keep this issue private. The isolation has compounded the downward spiral of unhealthy feelings and counter-productive behavior.

As spouses who have experienced this, we understand these needs and those of us who have found some recovery desire to share this pathway with others. Whether your marriage has survived the destruction of this plague or not, this is a place of your healing and recovery. For those of us who have found that pathway to recovery, we have discovered that qualified sexual addiction therapy, specific education, 12-step support, and spiritual guidance are the guideposts along that path. (See tabs above for more detail on each topic).

Our hope for you is that you too will find and join us on the pathway to recovery. This path is long and difficult at times, yet there is peace, safety, confidence, courage, spiritual connection, and even joy not just for some distant future but for the present, one day at a time.