Have You Seen The Heart of the Matter documentary?

Some of you may know that SA Lifeline helped to produce a breakthrough documentary film bringing light to the darkness surrounding pornography and sexual addiction.  The film is entitled The Heart of the Matter.

The Heart of the Matter is the first documentary to give viewers an honest, complete portrait of what it means to be a Christian addicted to pornography and sex.

This one-of-a-kind film brings hope to a subject typically shrouded in shame and silence. From first exposure to healing, you will witness both personal accounts and expert commentary on the devastating effects of pornography on one’s self-worth, family, and faith – but you will also experience the hope and joy of recovery.  You will also see some familiar faces from our SA Lifeline community.

The making of The Heart of the Matter took almost three years. The filmmakers had to bide their time and pace out multiple online crowd funding campaigns in order to finance the film. It was a labor of love in the hope of reaching the hearts of many and being a part of rescuing individuals and families withering under the weight of this addiction.

We are excited to announce that you can now view this film for free.

While this film may be triggering, depending on where you are at in your recovery and your life circumstances, we hope that being able to view and share this film with those who may benefit can be another tool of recovery for you.

What’d you think of the film?

How was it helpful?

What were 2-3 key takeaways?

Keep Working It.  It Works!  And You are Worth It.

6 thoughts on “Have You Seen The Heart of the Matter documentary?”

  1. This film was very emotional for me. I have been lying to my wife the intensity of my problem. She knew I had viewed pornography. I was not hiding that. I was however hiding the amount I viewed and what place it took in our relationship. We recently had a major fight about what I was hiding in my life. She could feel the disconnect and thought it was that I had slept with other woman during our marriage. I of course was dumb founded at this idea and it lead to many fights and physical abuse on my part. Little did I understand or know that pornography was the other woman she was speaking of. Pornography had taken over my ability to have a healthy relationship with her. My view of myself was always that I was not good enough to have a wife as gorgeous as mine and that she would one day soon leave for someone more handsome or more wealthy or less angry. I just knew that she would find a reason to leave me. Through the abuse and the arguments never did pornography come to the fore front as a problem. I was ignorant to the power pornography had over my me which of course turned into power over my marriage. I love my wife with all my heart and after hitting the bottom near the end of my rope; I read an article on how pornography affected my spouse. At that moment I knew; my anger, my disgust and my shame all stemmed from one place. Pornography. My marriage may be coming to an end because I wasn’t able to indentify the culprit of these issues sooner in my life. I have cried more and felt more feelings in the last 24 hours than I have in years. The overwhelming feeling of shame and guilt in ruining my marriage is breaking down emotional walls I didn’t know where there. I swear had I known the problems and believed the other articles I would have started recovery then. She is truly the best person and a great mother and wife. I however was not the best husband, father or person I could have been. I will proclaim for all who read this and those who do not that I will recover from this addiction with or without her by my side. I could use any help and information that will keep me on the up and up with my recovery. I have momentarily tried recovery alone and it didn’t work. I am in need of people who are going to help me be accountable but have the empathy to not judge me for my past transgressions. This video is amazing and I would recommend it to anyone that has an addiction to pornography. It shed light on all the negatives I had in my marriage and why pornography is not healthy.

    1. I haven’t watched this video yet, I plan to soon. I just had to respond to your painful story! My husband is over a year into recovery with no relapses. If you’re serious about recovery, I’d recommend affairrecovery.com for you and your wife. They have a program for for both the betrayed and unfaithful spouses on their own, plus a program or weekend intensive for you to do together. There’s also a free online boot camp to get you started. I know it says affair recovery, and that may seem strange. But it was exactly what we needed. You will find community there, understanding, and support. You wrote this on the one year anniversary of my husband getting clean. Also, for your marriage, a solid Emotionally Focused Therapy based marriage counselor could really help you. Those were the two things that got us through. Let your wife put Ever Accountable in any and all devices in your home, yours, hers, the kids, all of them. Let her set it up, the controls, the passwords, the emails. Don’t get the reports yourself, lest you be tempted to try to cheat the system. They’re solid programs, so they will almost be guaranteed to flag you, and she will know. She will be able to see everything you do, good and bad, anytime. Let that be a tool to help free you from secrecy. Intimacy is into-me-see. Full transparency, honesty, vulnerability. Give your wife full disclosure, a polygraph if it helps her feel safer, and know that the trauma is real, the betrayal is real, and you guys are in this for the long haul. There is hope. There is healing. It’s possible. I hope you are truly ready to be brave and face this, be strong and stick with it, be humble and do the work.

  2. I knew I had a problem with pornography and masturbation but was extremely ashamed to reveal it and even though I wanted it out of my life, I couldn’t make it very far without some sort of relapse. Watching this film helped me where and how to refocus my efforts.

  3. The interviews are raw, vulnerable and honest. I love that the interviews cover a broad spectrum of situations (married, single, male, female, young, old, divorced, family backgrounds, religious shame, length of sobriety, etc). If you or a loved one struggle with this, you will almost certainly see yourself somewhere in this video…for better or worse.

    This is one of the most powerful and accurate portrayals of both the problem and solution to sexually destructive behaviors that I have either watched or read to date. The input from the professional therapists is especially valuable–they offer insights and conclusions based on decades of clinical experience. Why would I not consider their thoughts? It’s free advice from those who have a front row seat and who watch addiction play out peoples’ lives everyday.

    If you have never been to an SA or SAL 12 step meeting before, I believe this documentary gives you a taste of the honesty and transparency and healing that exists in those meetings. I sense that this documentary will motivate many (men or women) to come out of hiding and to ask for help. What struck me most from this video is what all of the interviewees have in common: they are brutally honest and humble. That tells me a lot about the direction I need to travel on my path.

    1. Thanks for your insight Tony. I like the vulnerability here too.

      It’s hard for me when I hear people say that what we’re dealing with “isn’t really an addiction – just a bad habit.”

      These people speak not only from personal experience, which is hard to argue, but also from professional research and education.

      I’m with you that in SA and SAL 12 Step Meetings you’ll find this same honesty and transparency and healing.

      Thanks for your insights.

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