Last week we talked about seven of the most common denial statements an addict uses to justify, rationalize, minimize or hide his sexual addiction.
The first seven we talked about were:
7. False Compliance
Thanks for the comments and stories that related to these denial statements.
Today we’re going to talk about seven more common denial statements.
By the way, they aren’t in order of most common to least common; in fact, #14 is probably the one I’ve used MOST with parents, ecclesiastical leaders, and even my wife…
7 Additional Denial Statements Addicts Use to Cope
8. All or Nothing Thinking
“If I slip into acting out even minimally, all hope is lost and I might as well indulge fully.”
“I have to be perfect, otherwise it’s not even worth trying.”
9. Eternal Optimism
“I’ve made it this far in the Steps and haven’t acted out for quite awhile; I think I’m good.
“I’m feeling so much better, so I think I can back off my recovery work now.”
“My slip was really bad, but I’m learning a lot; I really think something is different this time.”
“I’ve tried everything before and failed. I can’t be fixed. Recovery isn’t going to work for me.”
“I’m different than those addicts. I really don’t need to __________.”
“I can go to this movie that I know has some sexual content, but I’m sure I’ll skip past triggering parts or just not watch them.”
“I am never going to act out again for the rest of my life. I’ve turned the corner and will never go back to my addiction again.”
11. Opportunity vs. Scarcity
“I’m finally alone. This may be the last chance I ever have to act out. I’d better take it.”
“It’s not my fault if I click on that link and ‘accidentally’ stumble onto pornography.”
“I don’t care what the consequences are. I just want to feel better now.”
“Looking at pornography and acting out doesn’t affect other ares of my life.”
“As long as I am nice to my wife and kids, then my acting out really doesn’t hurt them.”
“If I fill my life with good pursuits, then I don’t need to focus on recovery.”
“I’m not responsible to disclose details, unless someone specifically asks me about them.”
“I can’t share how triggered I really am, otherwise others will stop me from acting out.”
Here’s a video that Dr. Adam Moore did at the recent UCAP conference in Salt Lake. He talks a lot about the denial statements.
How do you relate to these denial statements?
Did we leave any out?
What’s the next step you can take to surrender these ideas and lies to the Higher Power of your understanding?