A couple of years ago I attended an event at the Croshaw Lodge that is owned by S.A. Lifeline’s founders, Rhyll and Steven Croshaw.
I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something felt different there… Peaceful. Maybe even sacred? I didn’t know what it was, but I loved being there with others who were striving to find healing for themselves and healing for their families, with God at their center.
Before I left that night I chatted with my friend, Tara McCausland, (the daughter of Rhyll and Steven Croshaw who is the current S.A. Lifeline Executive Director). That night Tara said something like, “Some people mention that there’s a special feeling here.” I replied that I had sensed that as well.
Tara then said, “That’s because this is where a family healed.”
And with that phrase, hope ignited in me.
Finding Hope For Families One Day At a Time
Near the beginning of my recovery I was disappointed to learn that families don’t heal in a day, or maybe even a few months. I remember thinking that I would zoom in and out of therapy because I and my family would be healed!
With affection, I’ll mention that I’m not alone in hopes of a speedy recovery. Newcomers often think that recovery looks like 12 weeks of meetings (one step a week for 12 weeks) and Bada bing! Bada boom! We are all better. Discouragement can set in when we realize that what we actually need is a new lifestyle that will take a long time (sometimes even a lifetime) to develop.
This realization can seem more like standing at the foot of Mount Everest.
Recovery, even the recovery of a family, is more manageable when we look at it like: One day. One step. One moment. One breath at a time. We can’t climb to the top of our figurative Mount Everests in a day and that’s alright.
Applying this to my family: I don’t need my family to completely heal today. I need my family to thoroughly heal over time. One day. One step. One moment. One breath at a time.
I love that the Croshaws found their own sacred place where a family healed little by little and bit by bit. I have hope that my own home will someday feel sacred like the Croshaw Lodge does.
It’s not likely to happen in a day though, and if it did, the richness of digging deep to find thorough healing would be missed. The more that I remember to be patient with myself and my family members, the less urgent I become. I really can learn to be content with progress over perfection.
Healing Families Might Look Different Than We Thought
When Tara shared her experience, strength and hope that night, I remember wishing that someday I could say that my own home is a place where a family healed.
I’ve come to the realization that my family will likely look very different from the Croshaw’s family as I am going through the divorce process. The happily ever after where a married couple finds true recovery is not happening in my own life.
And yet, I am doing what is in my power to heal myself and my family members who are willing.
Do you know what I have decided? I may yet be able to say about my own home that, “This is where a family healed.” It might look different without my husband in the picture, but it can still be beautiful.
Wishing Your Family Healing
I am praying for and wishing your family and my family the experience of thorough healing through the recovery process. I love that the S.A. Lifeline slogan states, “Recovering Individuals, Healing Families.” Families can heal, whether or not marriages stay intact.
May our own homes have the spirit of healing envelop them, that we may all someday say, “This is where a family healed.”
Love,
Jeni
Find hope. Find healing.
Come heal with us.
*Have you attended SAL 12 Steps? Find an addiction aware/ trauma sensitive meeting today.
