What does that have to do with sexual addiction?
When you think about denial statements, what comes to mind?
One important part of the recovery journey is working with a qualified therapist – someone who has been trained in dealing with sexual addiction and betrayal trauma.
The following denial statements were compiled by Utah Valley Counseling.
As I worked on my full disclosure with my therapist, he asked me to recognize the different denial statements I’ve used when acting out in my sexual addiction. My therapist provided a list of common denial statements addicts use to justify their behavior.
Unfortunately, for me, ALL of these statements were way too familiar…
As I went through the list a few times, I tried to recognize specific times I used the different denial statements, and what I can do differently today to avoid these denial statements.
Here are 7 of the 14 denial statements that were on that list.
As you read through them, think about when and how you’ve used them and what you can do differently today to avoid going back to those forms of denial.
7 Denial Statements Addicts Use to Cope
“I definitely haven’t hit the rock bottom THAT person has hit.”
“Compared to that other person, my addiction is minimal. I don’t need to do all the work they are recommending.”
“Have you worked YOUR recovery? I’ll start working my own recovery when/if you work on YOU…”
“I don’t know why you can’t just forgive me and let this go. That was a long time ago that I did those things.”
“I’ll bet you heard that at one of your ‘trauma’ meetings. I’ll believe that when I see it.”
“If my parents hadn’t done ____, I wouldn’t be doing ____.”
“My wife hurt my feelings; I need to just zone out for a while.”
“I don’t really have that big of a problem…”
“Yeah, I went to that movie, but I didn’t really see anything worth sharing with my sponsor, spouse or ecclesiastical leader. I’m fine.”
“Everybody does this. Why can’t I?”
“I don’t think this is an addiction at all. People are just trying to scare one another.”
“I can’t do this. I’ve tried all the suggestions and it’s not working for me.”
“I don’t really believe that working the Steps can actually solve my problems. The triggers are too strong…”
7. False Compliance
“As long as I go to one meeting a week, I’ll be fine. I don’t really need to do all that other stuff…”
“If my sponsor doesn’t give me that specific assignment, I’m not going to do it.”
“I’ve been working really hard at recovery; I’m fine missing a day or two here and there.”
These are the first seven denial statements on the list. Next week we’ll talk about the other seven.
What are you thoughts?
Which of the denial statements are you most familiar with and how can you handle them differently today?