Meet the Speakers of the 2024 S.A. Lifeline Conference & Why You Won't Want to Miss It

Narrator: This is Pathway to Recovery, an SA Lifeline Foundation podcast featuring hosts Tara McCausland, who is the SA Lifeline Executive Director, and Justin B., a sex addict living in long-term recovery. We have conversations with experts and individuals who understand the pathway to healing from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma because we believe that recovering individuals leads to the healing of families.

Tara McCausland: Welcome to the Pathway to Recovery Podcast. I am your host, Tara McCausland, and thanks for joining me today. I have a special episode for you. I wanted to introduce to you some of the speakers of the 2024 SA Lifeline Virtual Conference coming up September 26th through the 28th, and also just talk briefly about why you won't wanna miss it. So as I said, you'll hear from some of our conference speakers, others like Jake Porter, Eddie Capparucci. If you wanna go back to their episodes on Pathway to Recovery, hear from them, get a feel for who they are, I'd invite you to do that.

But we'll get to hear from Janice Caudle and Dan Drake, who are our headliner speakers for our Unwanted Sexual Behavior Day. We'll also get to hear from Crystal Hollenbeck. who is presenting on betrayal trauma anger on our betrayal trauma day. Others you'll hear from are some of our breakout speakers. We have some exciting presentations prepared for you that I know you won't wanna miss. And finally, at the end of this, you'll hear from Jill Manning, who previously recorded reasons why you won't wanna miss the SA Lifeline Conference.

And hang in till the end, and I'd like to share a special offer just for Pathway to Recovery listeners as a thank you to you.

Dan Drake: So Janice, we've done a lot of work creating materials, uh, that help couples navigate the disclosure process effectively. So why does it matter to do disclosures right?

Speaker 4: Because if you don't do them right, Dan, you don't have truth. And without truth in your personal recovery, you have no personal recovery. You have no integrity. Without truth in a relationship, do you really have a relationship?

Dan Drake: Yeah, it's pretty foundational. I think we, it's absolutely foundational.

Speaker 4: Dan, what's one mistake that people often misunderstand about disclosures?

Dan Drake: I get a lot of confusion from people who hear that there's a one-size-fits-all approach to disclosures, that it has to be done a certain way, like one way, but they find in their own unique situation in their relationship that a disclosure process might not quite fit for them. So what we advocate for and what, why we've actually spent so much time preparing materials that are supportive and helpful for couples is to create resources that isn't a one-size-fits-all, that has a, we, we think of disclosures on the continuum and that what one couple might need might be different than what another couple might need.

So our, our process has, has a lot of choice points that we help couples navigate through the disclosure prep process.

Speaker 4: So essentially how to customize the disclosure to fit your needs.

Dan Drake: Exactly. That, that is a difficult and a really beautiful, painstaking process. And I think that's part of where the healing comes for individuals and for relationships.

Speaker 4: So if you, you want to learn more about our process and how to do, to custom fit disclosures for you, you can join us at the SA Lifeline Virtual Conference, September 26th through the 28th.

Dan Drake: Please join us. Looking forward to seeing you.

Christa Hollenbeck: Hi, I'm Christa Hollenbeck. In 2023, I conducted a survey with betrayed partners. 84% reported the anger they experienced after discovering betrayal was more intense than at any other time they experienced anger in their past. I wonder how betrayal trauma anger may be impacting you and your relationship. As a betrayed partner, do you feel crazy and overwhelmed when you're angry? Are you embarrassed by what you say and do when you become angry? Perhaps you're yelling, screaming, swearing, hitting, kicking, and destroying things.

Or perhaps you're suppressing your anger and taking it out on friends and colleagues, your children, or the pets. I want you to know you're not crazy. You're angry, and you should be. As the betrayer, are you angry with yourself, Because of what you've done? Do you feel helpless because you can't take away the pain and anger your partner's experiencing? Do you feel like whatever they say and do to you is okay because you deserve it? And when they get angry, are you having a difficult time of staying calm and being kind?

Do you become defensive and get angry back, which just makes the situation worse? During my presentation, I'm going to share a definition of betrayal trauma anger. I'm going to share a protocol that I developed a few years ago, the SKIP protocol, which helps you to calm down the brain and nervous system and process what you're angry about in just a short few minutes. I'm also going to be going through the betrayal trauma anger calming phases. These are the phases that a betrayed partner experiences after discovering betrayal.

I want to encourage you that you can manage anger. That you can process it in a healthy way, that it doesn't have to cause harm to you or to your relationship. God shares through his word, be angry and sin not. I interpret that as when you're in a relationship and you've discovered betrayal, the betrayal trauma anger is devastating. But you can process that anger effectively and not hurt yourself or someone else when you are. I'm really looking forward to talking with you about betrayal trauma anger during this year's annual SA Lifeline Conference.

Roy Kim: My name is Roy Kim, and I'm going to be facilitating a workshop called Why Group Work Is a Game Changer for Recovery. And I wanted to highlight some of the direct benefits from group work that I've seen as a clinician. Number one is that when you show up to group and you're surrounded by peers who are going through what you're going through, there is this real sense of camaraderie, that feeling that I am seen, that what I'm going through, the decisions that I've made, what I fear, What I hope for, these are all in alignment with what the other person in your group is, is going through as well.

There's a lot of feelings of hope that comes from finding your tribe in that way. Kind of related to that is this feeling that I matter. My recovery matters. My slips in recovery matter. These are things that you're able to experience in real time as A person in your group provides feedback to you about what you're sharing. And kind of in contrast to that, when someone isn't able to find a community like this to do group work, there's not that many people to bounce these ideas off of.

Like, I'm feeling like I don't matter in life, and you're just kind of saying that to yourself. It's hard to get out of that mental hole sometimes when you're just Speaking to yourself. I really do think that group work helps us shed off the idea that we can get through this recovery journey by just willpower and replacing that with this idea that I can get through this recovery journey with a brother or with a sister or someone who's on my side that I have access to on a regular basis.

that really promotes long-term recovery, and that's what we're all looking for here. So I hope that gives you some idea of what I'm going to be sharing about in this seminar, and I hope to see you.

Tammy Gustafson: Hi, I'm Tammy Gustafson with Betrayal Healing, and I am excited to be sharing about power dynamics at the upcoming virtual conference. This topic is near and dear to my heart because power dynamics are at play in every relationship, and particularly those where there has been sexual betrayal. And it's often misunderstood about what power is, what it looks like, who has it, how we balance it and heal it. And so I'm gonna be unpacking all of that during this conversation.

We're gonna look at what power really is. And it's probably not what you think. And then we're going to look at the arc of the power dynamics and differentials and how over time we can move towards health and healing. So for betrayed partners, it is very important that you step into your power. And that looks like boundaries. That looks like finding your voice. That looks like really honoring what you want and what you need and stepping into that you have great Mm-hmm.

worth and value and to stand firm in that. And for the one who did the betraying, there are a lot of ways that you can help. And there's also a lot of ways that you can hurt this process. And so I think by helping you understand what it looks like to give you hope that it won't always be this way and to let you know that you can By having empathy, by showing kindness, by helping heal the wounds that you have caused, you can do a lot to help this be as smooth a process as possible.

So I invite you guys to join me as I help explain what's going on and also help show a path forward to healing. I hope you'll join me.

Speaker 4: My name is MJ Dennis, and I am a sex and trauma therapist and partner trauma specialist in San Marcos, Texas. This year I'll be presenting at the SA Lifeline Conference, and I wanted to invite you to join me for a session on sexual healing after Infidelity or betrayal. During this presentation, I hope to discuss ways that people's sexuality is impacted, healing trajectory, to help you understand some of the things you might be experiencing, and to give you some guidance on steps to achieve healthy sexuality, and healing.

I really hope to see you then. Gaslighting is a really hot topic in the worlds of addiction and trauma. So why is it so hard to deal with? Because like carbon monoxide, you can't detect it through your senses, and like carbon monoxide, It's toxic. It clouds your body and your brain. It robs you of your self-confidence. It chips away at your trust in what you can believe to be real. It damages your sense of worth and it destroys your self-esteem.

It robs you ultimately of your authentic self. You have to learn to deal and heal. And how do you start that process? Get a gas detector. Knowledge. Learn to identify the strategies of deception. Once you learn to identify those strategies, now you can see it. Now you can smell it when it's happening. What you can detect, you can deal with, and what you can deal with, you can then heal from. If you wanna learn more, come join me at the SA Lifeline Virtual Conference.

in September.

Tara McCausland: I have here with me, my friend and the wonderful Dr. Jill Manning.

Jill Manning: It's always a joy to be with you, dear.

Tara McCausland: We have our annual SA Lifeline conference coming up, and Jill has actually been a presenter at this conference and has also watched as a participant. In your experience as individuals dealing with the effects of porn and sexual addiction, how would they benefit from attending an event like the SA Lifeline Conference?

Jill Manning: This conference is unique. I want to say, I'm not aware of any other conference like this one. And the 4 reasons why I think this is really a must-attend is it reduces isolation. Just seeing other people on the online conference, we know we're with people dealing with similar issues. So it helps reduce isolation. Second, we become aware of resources, approaches, kind of the newest and latest in the field. And I know as a clinician, I've specialized in this area for close to 25 years.

And when I've attended SA Lifeline conferences, I learned so much. It's enriching. So that's the second. Third, the content is top-notch. The quality of presenters, the quality of the content. Is outstanding. This is not a second-rate conference. I know, and knowing you as the organizer, how much effort goes into carefully thinking through what are the needs this year? Who would be the speaker that would best speak to where this issue is at currently in our culture?

So the thoughtfulness, the intentionality behind the speakers and how this is put together is just top-notch. And lastly, this is unique, that people get to see couples in recovery. That is something about SA Lifeline I've deeply admired for a long time. They emphasize individual recovery, but also families and couples healing. And that's in your taglines, right? That's baked into what you do and what you focus on, that this isn't just a men or women's conference, but couples coming together and learning the recovery path together is really unique and a special opportunity to connect and envision the healing process in a different way.

We need all hands on deck. And what I would say is if someone's not a specialist or doesn't even have interest in this topic in their practice, attend because guaranteed clinicians out there are encountering this issue, even if it's not openly and directly being discussed in a session. I think there really is something to be learned for everyone and to take away from a conference like this that can benefit the care we give and to expand our knowledge set.

So I'd want to invite everybody from a variety of specialties to come and to invite parents to come. We really do need to work together to solve these issues.

Tara McCausland: So there you have it. I'm so excited about this upcoming conference. And honestly, this lineup is phenomenal. You won't want to miss it. And by the way, if you want to spend a little bit of time in a small group with some of these breakout speakers, don't forget when you register to make sure that you do the roundtable option, which will allow you to have an hour with these breakout speakers in a small group setting. So again, take advantage of this, of this opportunity to prioritize your healing and gain some momentum on your healing journey.

And as a thank you to our Pathway to Recovery listeners, a special coupon code available for you who hung in with us till the end. Type in PathwayToRecovery10 to get $10 off at registration. And before I sign off, just a big thank you to our sponsors, Circles of Grace. If you haven't checked them out, Go to the show notes of this episode and you can learn more about the great work they're doing in helping those suffering from the effects of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma.

So thanks for being here with me and we'll catch you next time.

Narrator: Thanks for joining us. We invite you to subscribe to this podcast so that you don't miss new episodes. And while you're at it, will you please leave us a 5-star rating and review to To help us spread the good news that healing from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma is possible, we invite individuals who are struggling to join our virtual or in-person trauma-sensitive 12-step meetings. Meeting times and locations can be found at sal12step.org. You can find quality education at salifeline.org, and we hope that you will follow us on Instagram and Facebook.

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