Is Relapse a Part of Recovery?

I’ve heard this quite a bit in other groups: “Relapse is part of recovery…” Or… “If I pop a tire, I’m not going to go back to where I started, I’m going to fix the tire and move on.” My initial questions are these: Where do these ideas come from? Who said these things? Was…

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Finding the Light this Christmas

This Christmas season, I have been reflecting on Light. Light is the best part of holiday decorating, in my opinion.  Every morning the first thing I do is pad around in my bare feet plugging in extension cords, and all day long I keep my houselights off and let the warm glow of twinkle lights…

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Self-care vs. Self-soothing

“Take care of yourself.” We say it to those we love, but do we say it to ourselves? And if we do, are we taking the true meaning of those words to heart? When I tell my husband to take care of himself before he goes out on a shift as a drug detective in…

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Using the Understanding Pornography Manual: Understanding the Basics

You may be aware that SA Lifeline Foundation recently published the updated Understanding Pornography & Betrayal Trauma Manual.  This publication is one of SA Lifeline’s proudest accomplishments. The manual includes clear guidance from top experts in the field, and straight-forward explanations that bring clarity to complicated issues.  It is also unique in that it offers…

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Why are We Afraid to Call it a Sexual Addiction?

Do people who look at pornography, even if it’s from time to time, really have a problem or even “a sexual addiction?” Is “lust addiction” a terrible, shaming label or is it something that needs to be talked about openly and honestly? What are your thoughts on these questions? Do you feel there’s a fear…

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Where does Gratitude live?

It’s the week of Thanksgiving. The holiday season is almost in full swing, the time of year that we are supposed to be filled with love and laughter and gratitude. But sometimes, when we are in the middle of trauma, or even in years to follow when special dates and seasons have been tainted from…

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Step One Hurts!

The past few weeks I have been reflecting on Step One. “We admitted we were powerless over sexual addiction–that our lives had become unmanageable.” This one-liner seems pretty simple and pretty clear.  Admit our powerlessness? Easy enough, right? But actually feeling and facing the unmanageability of our lives is anything but simple or clear. In…

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