Self-care vs. Self-soothing

“Take care of yourself.” We say it to those we love, but do we say it to ourselves? And if we do, are we taking the true meaning of those words to heart? When I tell my husband to take care of himself before he goes out on a shift as a drug detective in…

Details

Using the Understanding Pornography Manual: Understanding the Basics

You may be aware that SA Lifeline Foundation recently published the updated Understanding Pornography & Betrayal Trauma Manual.  This publication is one of SA Lifeline’s proudest accomplishments. The manual includes clear guidance from top experts in the field, and straight-forward explanations that bring clarity to complicated issues.  It is also unique in that it offers…

Details

Why are We Afraid to Call it a Sexual Addiction?

Do people who look at pornography, even if it’s from time to time, really have a problem or even “a sexual addiction?” Is “lust addiction” a terrible, shaming label or is it something that needs to be talked about openly and honestly? What are your thoughts on these questions? Do you feel there’s a fear…

Details

Where does Gratitude live?

It’s the week of Thanksgiving. The holiday season is almost in full swing, the time of year that we are supposed to be filled with love and laughter and gratitude. But sometimes, when we are in the middle of trauma, or even in years to follow when special dates and seasons have been tainted from…

Details

Step One Hurts!

The past few weeks I have been reflecting on Step One. “We admitted we were powerless over sexual addiction–that our lives had become unmanageable.” This one-liner seems pretty simple and pretty clear.  Admit our powerlessness? Easy enough, right? But actually feeling and facing the unmanageability of our lives is anything but simple or clear. In…

Details

Question: How do you find balance in recovery?

Thanks for all the questions that have come up about recovery and healing from sexual addiction. From physical touching boundaries to whether or not the 12 steps work, the questions have been so helpful and created a real conversation. Keep them coming! Today’s question comes from a brother who participates in the men’s online meetings.…

Details

What I Learned from Setting Boundaries

Thanks to Alicia for this beautiful post on what she has learned from setting boundaries. For more information on setting boundaries, we encourage you to read What Can I Do About Me? by Rhyll Croshaw and refer specifically to the chapter on p 57 entitled “Boundaries: The Most Loving Thing I Can Do.” When I…

Details

Travel Tips to Help You Stay Sexually Sober

This is a guest post from one of the guys in an SAL men’s meeting. Thanks for sharing your travel tips to help you stay sexually sober. A couple times a year, I travel for work. This means staying in a hotel room by myself. Before I started my recovery, this was an opportunity to…

Details